Hardest Job

I recently read a friends blog post in which she talked about disciplining her two year old and feeling like she should know what to do, but just doesn't seem to have all the answers. I have felt/thought this more and more in recent days. Her credentials are similar to mine, a soon to be Elementary Ed degree with an Early Childhood Endorsement. In her post, she states she should know what to do and she has worked with children and helped shape them for as long as she can remember. I share these same sentiments. Before having children I was confident I would be able to handle the challenges, joys, tears, etc that come with having children. My confidence, while still present, has changed. New revelations have come. Shaping the lives of children in a classroom, is very different than training your own children (so I've learned :). While some of the same techniques can be used, others may not work as well. In the bubble of the classroom, all your attention is on the students. It is much easier to be consistent. When at home and all the other aspects of life are vying for your attention, sometimes this constancy is compromised. Having more than one child, I have learned that each of my children have very different personalities and different forms of discipline work with each of them. A time out may work with one, but not with another. Then each situation, may have it's own consequences. Leading to many challenges in the parenting department. The bottom line is that each day has it's own adventures. Just as the kids are growing and learning, I am doing the same. When faced with a situation, we go with our gut, bring in some of my training, and use past experiences to face the situation head on. While parenting is the hardest job I have ever done, it also the most rewarding. There's NOTHING better that an I Love You at the end of the day or listening to little feet run down the hallway and being greeted with sweet kiss on the cheek to wake me up. At school my job is pretty consistent throughout the day. At home, my job as a mom is always evolving and changing. The pressure (or perceived pressure) from society and those around us adds to the dynamic of parenting. People are so quick to judge and jump to conclusions in all areas of life, but especially parenting. I was probably one of those people before I had kids :) Kids act out, and it's said, "They don't have any discipline at home" or "their parents need to get control". Easier said than done. Looking beyond these judgements hard for me. One of our kiddos in particular has been more challenging than the other two. She has traits that will one day make her a strong and productive leader in society, but training her along the way has proved difficult at times. There have been times, and are even now, that I don't want to go out and be around friends and family, anxious that she will have a meltdown or lash out at someone, and my parenting will be criticized. How will I handle it with all those eyes on me? What will people think? These are insecurities/pride issues that I have dealt with in many areas of my life. I am pleased to say that this is changing, while I still have times filled with anxiousness, worry, and fear, I have MANY more times, that frankly, I don't really care what others think. While I know this sounds harsh, hear my heart. I have come to a place that I only want to please my Lord and Savior. While I will gladly listen to the opinions and thoughts of others, the most important thing for me is pleasing the Lord in all I do and that includes training my children. We all live in different situations, different ages and amounts of kids, different jobs, and time commitments, different amounts of support, but the bottom line is we need to love one another as God loves us. Be quick to encourage instead of quick to judge. This should pertain to all areas in our lives. In my friends post she referenced the "three C's: calm, caring, and consistent as well as the 90:10 ratio, "which states that interactions with your child should be 90 parts positive and 10 parts negative or better." Hard sometimes, but VERY true. My fave line in her post, writing about reading books on discipline lately, was, "My experience with theories is that they work wonderfully in a book, with the ideal child in mind. In practice, however, things are a bit more complicated. Interactions with real children are often more complex than the books can portray. It's frustrating to read or know something, then try it out and end up with a different outcome than you expected." This couldn't be more true. I too have been reading about discipline lately, and its very humbling to read a book, in which it states many of the things you are doing are "wrong." While I believe that there are absolutely things I need to change, I also believe that no one knows my children better than me. I do the best job I know how, and face each situation as it comes. Parenting is a ever-changing and evolving thing. We learn as we go, and make changes where needed. I am thankful for new mercies and grace each day. Love your children today just for who they are. Its the most important job we will ever have. Now for something a little more upbeat...before the last snowflake has melted (yes we still have little bits of snow on the ground here in MI) I give you "Winter Fun 2011" videos:

Legacy

I am not usually the thinker, reflector, dreamer type, but all of these have been a bigger part of my life over the last few weeks. I have questioned many things in my life over the last few weeks...why do we do what we do? Why do we serve the Lord the way we do? Why do we talk and act certain ways? Why do we train our children in the way we do? Are we being wise financially? Why do certain things happen the way they do? The list could go on. What has brought about all this questioning? Many factors: things I have heard, seen, and been a part of over the last months.

Legacy is a word that had kept coming to mind. What legacy am I going to leave? Last week at church, our Pastor talked about all the "noise" in this world. The noise included technology, phones, ipods, computers, facebook, twitter etc. I will be the first to admit that these things can consume me at times. It is easy to spend hours reading blogs, looking at facebook etc. I try to keep this computer time for when the kids are in bed, but it does, at times, spill over into other parts of the day. How do I want my kids to remember me...in front of a phone or computer all the time? Definitely not. I don't think they will, but I want them to know that they are ALWAYS the priorty and none of these other things really matter. Nothing else really matters in life besides them right now. They are only in this home for a certain amount of time, and I want to cherish every moment I have with them. A shift is taking place in my heart. Priorities being re-organized. I don't want the "typical" American family. I want an extraordinary life, living beyond ourselves, and all things typical. A life that reflects the One who gave us this life. A life that is more about others than myself. A life that teaches my children that caring and compassion for others is really what matters. A life that is filled with worship and the Word. A life that reflects Jesus to those around me.

Just over a year ago I wrote THIS post. It has something I have thought about many times over the last year and it has been weighing heavy on my heart these last few weeks. From time to time I watch "19 kids and Counting", a show depicting the life of the Duggar family who have 19 children. They are an INCREDIBLE family. They are a bible loving, homeschooling, have no TV, only use computer for school, all play an instrument, put family first kind of family. Recently, on Yah**, I watched a video of another family that is very similar to the Duggars. They have 18 children and live by many of the same values. Watching these families is such an inspiration to me. Don't get me wrong, I do not desire to birth 15 more children. :) But, I strongly believe are family is not complete with three. How many more? Only the Lord knows. What will that look like, I am not sure, but there are thousands of children, young and old, out there that need a family. A life long friend of mine, opened their home this summer to a teenage boy that needed a home. I have not had the opportunity to talk in depth with her about this, but she said the need was there and they felt led. They have two young children of their own, but decided to open their home to this teenage boy. His and their life will never be the same...it will be better! I want to be in that place. Open to expanding our family. Opening our home to children who do not have one. I have even been dreaming lately of living on a few acres having 10 kids, homeschooling all of them, and just loving life. I know this all seems flowery and perfect, and life isn't that way sometimes, but I believe that we are being prepared for the challenge. I know this seems strange to many of you, but to me it's what I desire to be my normal. I don't know what my life will look like in 2, 5, or 10 years, but the bottom line is, I want to be open to whatever that Lord has for us.

I know this post is all over the place, but hear my heart, there are stirrings that are taking place. A shifting in priorities, desires for higher things, a wanting to live differently, be set apart, and expecting extraordinary things.

Birthday and Christmas!!!

Melia turned 5 a few weeks back. Crazy! We had a small family party for her and she soaked up every second of the attention. She loved having her cousins at her Princess/Barbie party. My sister made an awesome Barbie cake for her. We also had a pinata for the kids. It wasn't one of those swing the bat or stick and hope no one gets hurt ones; it was a pull string one. Each child pulls a ribbon until one of them releases the trap door and the candy comes pouring out. They loved it.

She will be heading to kindergarten in the fall. This is exciting and bittersweet all at the same time. My time with her will be much more limited, but I am excited to watch her grow and learn so much. We are debating doing school of choice for her and sending her to the full day kindergarten program in the district that I teach in. Our home district offers 1/2 day, which means on the days I work she would spend her afternoons in a day care room. On the other hand, I will have to drive her to the school on my days off. We are still mulling it over, but we are leaning towards the full day program. She will love learning and making new friends and I would rather have her doing that, than sitting in daycare. Decisions...decisions :)





Beautiful Girl!!!

We had a wonderful Christmas. I love that time of year so much. Time off work for Chris, much family time, the house is decorated...it is almost my favorite time of year, taking a close second to laying by the pool on a hot summer day :) We were very blessed with many incredible gifts and had much time to relax and enjoy each other. Here are a few pics :)












My mom and dad made these GORGEOUS doll houses for the kids for Christmas (they actually made three one for my brother and sister's kids too.) The detail work is amazing and the kids LOVE playing with it. It will be a life long cherished gift.





I made many homemade gifts this year and this was one of my favorite projects. I made all our kids and many of the kids we love aprons and chef hats. They looked adorable :) My nieces are great models.

New year: Speaking Life

This moring as I was playing with the kids in their rooms, Eva put a CD in their CD player. It was John Waller. I was reminded of this post from almost two years ago (one of my favorite blog posts). These same feeligns have been on my heart in the recent weeks, so I thought I would repost it...its a great reminder for me and hopefully for you today!

Chris and I laid by a fire in the
fireplace until way too late into the night a few weeks back talking about this very thing. As we embark on this new year let us think of our words and choose them carefully...let us be a blessing, thinking of others before ourselves (even when we don't want to). Let us leave a legacy of blessing. That's what I want for my family. I want my children to see us encouraging and building others up, serving others before ourselves and giving selflessly.

(Origninal post from 6-18-08)

Speaking Life

Over the last few weeks/months, several situations have come up that have really got me thinking. My writing may seem a little disconnected to start, but I will bring it back together in the end, I promise. Two months ago Chris's grandmother went to be with the Lord. In more recent days I have read or heard of other situations involving sudden tragedy/death of people young and old. I have given much thought to how precious life is. When I think about our time on this earth in comparison to eternity, it is a short time. Thinking about how we interact with people and the words we use has been a reoccurring theme in my heart over these past few months. On father's day we were celebrating with family and out of no where, during a conversation, something very hurtful was said to my husband. He quietly slipped away from the situation and went to another part of the house. The rest of us were left there in a moment of awkward silence. The day went on, but I was left with a nagging in my heart. Another family member asked the person involved to go and make it right with Chris. The response was I guess, but I just have a way of offending people, making an excuse for his actions. The situation was resolved and forgiveness was given before we left for the day, but the hurt was still there.

Another situation occurred this week. A friend and I were at McDonald's having lunch with our kids. There were several other kids and families in the play place this day. A little boy, maybe 7 or 8 was playing alone. After observing him for sometime, I determined he was most likely Autistic. This little boy was getting agitated and hit another boy and his mom. This mom then asked who this kid belonged to and in a angry tone, speaking loudly enough for everyone to here reported what happened. The person that was with the Autistic child, who I later determined was not his mom, claimed him and made him come and sit at the table. There were two other children with this mom, and when they were told it was time to go, they whined and complained a little. The mom's response to her children was "I know, he (speaking of the Autistic boy) ALWAYS ruins everything". My heart broke for this child. Again this conversation took place, loud enough for everyone in the area to hear. Although the boy seemed unphased by what was being said about him, the words were still spoken. What impression/attitudes does this statement leave on her children about this other boy, and more importantly this child is being cursed by the words of another person. I try very hard to leave the words always and never out of my vocabulary. Even if something happens 99 out of 100 times the word always cannot be used. They are so absolute.

Over the past weeks Rebekah and I have been getting together to pray and study the book of James. A few weeks ago we studied James chapter 3.James 3: 9-12 says,With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.I read these words, ones that I had heard and read before and did not give it much thought to them at the time.

Over these last weeks they have resonated in my heart. Our words our powerful, they can curse or bring blessing. Being faced with situations involving death, recently, I began thinking about the situation with Chris differently; questioning what if?. What if the hurtful words were the last ones to be spoken? What if this was the last time we were to see this person? Many times we walk around taking life for granted, but in a moment a very different picture could lay before us. We assume we will have time to resolve offenses or make a relationship right. I know this all seems a little morbid, but it's what is in my heart. I am not one to live thinking or fearing death, but I do want to be conscious of what is coming out of my mouth. Am I speaking words of life? Even in everyday conversation, what seems harmless, can open the floodgates for the enemy. I was mowing the grass this afternoon, listening to my IPOD, when the following song came on. I listened to the words and it brought all the thoughts over the past few months together. What are you going to choose today...blessing or curse? What legacy are you leaving behind?

You can here the song here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tvDQpaJBuo

John Waller "The Blessing"

Let it be said of us While we walked among the living.Let it be said of us By the ones we leave behind. Let it be said of us That we lived to be a blessing for life. Let it be said of us That we gave to reach the dying. Let it be said of us By the fruit we leave behind. Let it be said of us That our legacy is blessing for life.

This day You set life, you set death right before us, This day Every blessing and curse is a choice now, And we will choose to be a blessing for life. Let it be said of us That our hearts belonged to Jesus. Let it be said of us That we spoke the words of life.Let it be said of us That our heritage is blessing for life.

This day You set life, you set death right before us, This day Every blessing and curse is a choice now, And we will choose to be a blessing for life. Blessings and Curses are choices,'Cause blessings and curses are choices. Will we build up, tear down? The moment of truth is now. For your Kingdom, for our Children For the sake of every nation For your Kingdom, for our ChildrenFor the sake of every nationWe will choose to be a blessing for life. For life.

Blessing for life.

Christmas Party

The girls had their preschool Christmas party last night. All the boys and girls performed a concert for the parents. It was adorable. Santa came for a visit too!

Melia went running up and could not wait for her turn.

Eva decided after a while that she would like too sit on his lap (she really just wanted the candy cane he was giving :)

As you can see P was not a fan at all.

Here are two songs from their concert (they were both so cute, I couldn't pick just one)! It makes me beam everytime I watch it. Can't believe they are old enough to be singing in a preschool concert!

Watch for the kisses half way through :)

Football and Snow

Yesterday, we had our first real snow of the season. Of course we went out and played in it. But football is also a priority and watching Uncle Dave kick for the Lions makes it even more fun. Chris had a great time in the snow with the kids. I hid behind the camera. :)

Snowball fight with Daddy!

Our first snowman of the season!

Our Snowbabies!!

How to build a snowman! by: Melia

How to build a snowman! by: Eva

Parker can't tell us how to build a snowman, but he can say football and touchdown!

It was a great snowy, football filled, Sunday!!

Thankful

I am so thankful for my three little turkeys, with their homemade handprint turkey shirts, that they are not old enough to fight me to wear...yet :)

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I ended up hosting at the last min. I cooked the turkey, that my mom bought, and the mashed potatoes. Everyone else brought the rest. I love nothing more than setting a beautiful table and entertaining. It's something we don't do as often these days, so I decided to go all the way. We had 26 people total including kids. I have a set of 12 Christmas dishes and my grandmothers set of china, so dishes were plentiful. The day before was my birthday and I spent it doing what I love most, playing with my kids and preparing for guests. Chris and I did sneak out for a late dinner. It was a glorious day.

The table was already set so Thursday morning was spent doing last min. preparing and cooking. Our family started arriving at noon. The smell of turkey filled the house, kids running about and laughing, cousins playing, family hugging...it doesn't get much better.

After a bit we filled our plates and all sat down (in our assigned spots noted by the little Indian corn name cards that my mom, Chris and I spent late into the night making :) and began enjoying the meal that many hands had prepared.

After a few mins, I moved to the end of the table to help the kids and that's when my day met perfection. I sat looking down at 24 feet of glorious table, 26 people eating, talking, and smiling. I was beaming. Chris caught my eye and knew then that even though it was more work, that letting me use china and making the long table made my heart smile. He quietly smiled a knowing smile.

Even the kids got to eat with china and stemware :)

The day lingered, people left to be with other family, but mom, dad, linds (sister), and syd stayed and enjoyed the evening. Matt and Carly (my brother and his wife) came back around 8pm with the kids and we spent the evening playing games. I couldn't have asked for a better day :)

And of course the day wouldn't have been complete without the trying-to-get-six-kids-ages 6,5 (almost),4,3,2,1-to-smile-and-all-look-in-the-same-direction

picture with Nana and Poppy :)

I AM THANKFUL!!!