I am not usually the thinker, reflector, dreamer type, but all of these have been a bigger part of my life over the last few weeks. I have questioned many things in my life over the last few weeks...why do we do what we do? Why do we serve the Lord the way we do? Why do we talk and act certain ways? Why do we train our children in the way we do? Are we being wise financially? Why do certain things happen the way they do? The list could go on. What has brought about all this questioning? Many factors: things I have heard, seen, and been a part of over the last months.
Legacy is a word that had kept coming to mind. What legacy am I going to leave? Last week at church, our Pastor talked about all the "noise" in this world. The noise included technology, phones, ipods, computers, facebook, twitter etc. I will be the first to admit that these things can consume me at times. It is easy to spend hours reading blogs, looking at facebook etc. I try to keep this computer time for when the kids are in bed, but it does, at times, spill over into other parts of the day. How do I want my kids to remember me...in front of a phone or computer all the time? Definitely not. I don't think they will, but I want them to know that they are ALWAYS the priorty and none of these other things really matter. Nothing else really matters in life besides them right now. They are only in this home for a certain amount of time, and I want to cherish every moment I have with them. A shift is taking place in my heart. Priorities being re-organized. I don't want the "typical" American family. I want an extraordinary life, living beyond ourselves, and all things typical. A life that reflects the One who gave us this life. A life that is more about others than myself. A life that teaches my children that caring and compassion for others is really what matters. A life that is filled with worship and the Word. A life that reflects Jesus to those around me.
Just over a year ago I wrote THIS post. It has something I have thought about many times over the last year and it has been weighing heavy on my heart these last few weeks. From time to time I watch "19 kids and Counting", a show depicting the life of the Duggar family who have 19 children. They are an INCREDIBLE family. They are a bible loving, homeschooling, have no TV, only use computer for school, all play an instrument, put family first kind of family. Recently, on Yah**, I watched a video of another family that is very similar to the Duggars. They have 18 children and live by many of the same values. Watching these families is such an inspiration to me. Don't get me wrong, I do not desire to birth 15 more children. :) But, I strongly believe are family is not complete with three. How many more? Only the Lord knows. What will that look like, I am not sure, but there are thousands of children, young and old, out there that need a family. A life long friend of mine, opened their home this summer to a teenage boy that needed a home. I have not had the opportunity to talk in depth with her about this, but she said the need was there and they felt led. They have two young children of their own, but decided to open their home to this teenage boy. His and their life will never be the same...it will be better! I want to be in that place. Open to expanding our family. Opening our home to children who do not have one. I have even been dreaming lately of living on a few acres having 10 kids, homeschooling all of them, and just loving life. I know this all seems flowery and perfect, and life isn't that way sometimes, but I believe that we are being prepared for the challenge. I know this seems strange to many of you, but to me it's what I desire to be my normal. I don't know what my life will look like in 2, 5, or 10 years, but the bottom line is, I want to be open to whatever that Lord has for us.
I know this post is all over the place, but hear my heart, there are stirrings that are taking place. A shifting in priorities, desires for higher things, a wanting to live differently, be set apart, and expecting extraordinary things.